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Inspired by our new podcast episode, one of our listeners, Brian, shared with us his "almost" complete review of the dining options onboard Royal Caribbean's Oasis of the Seas. What follows is a detailed, multi-page review with mouth-watering descriptions and pictures and should only be attempted by wannabe foodies, the curious, and the brave. Okay, I am joking, but this is a seriously great review that will make you wish you were on the Oasis of the Seas right now if you aren't already. Enjoy!
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Dear Travel Channel, We need to talk... I want to break up. It's not me, it's you. You've changed. We have been through rocky patches before when you decided to become "all Vegas, all the time" about nine years ago, but we got through it because, like it or not, Las Vegas IS still a travel destination. This time, I am afraid that you have gone too far, and have proven that you no longer care about travel at all. Just yesterday, I scrolled through your schedule on my DVR, trying in vain to find something of interest to record. What I discovered was unforgivable. For the next week, the average of travel related content on your channel was 2 hours a day. (And I am counting "Ultimate Thrills: Coasters" in that total) What are you showing instead? Food. Now, as my scale can attest, I love food. Probably too much. And yes, I love to eat when I travel, and perhaps one show on great restaurants or street food in different cities would be nice. But, you haven't stopped there. No, you have Anthony Bourdain eating fancy stuff, Andrew Zimmerman eating gross stuff, and Adam Richman just eating as much as he can. In between, you have reruns of Rachael Ray eating cheaply and Giada eating slowly and sensually. Oh, and don't forget all of the Food Paradise specials (which I have to admit to watching a marathon of when I was in labor). Now, don't get me wrong, your food related content, or I should say these days, your content, is often better than much of the content on the Cooking Channel or Food Network, and I know that you are owned by Scripps who also owns those channels. I would watch Adam Richman stuff his face over Guy Fieri any day, but, and I feel like I am stating the obvious here, this content doesn't fit the travel channel! Remember Great Hotels? Back then, Samantha Brown used to annoy me, but now, I would be thrilled to watch her laze around luxury hotels in great locations. I still tune into the one hour of Samantha (usually Passport to Europe or Great Weekends) that you show on weekdays, even though I have seen them multiple times, because I need my travel fix. But, I will admit that I have been cheating on you for quite some time. It started with Rudy Maxa who popped up on PBS, then HDNet, and moved on to my donating money to PBS for the entire series of Rick Steves videos. You might be wondering what, exactly, would be required for me to take you back, and I am so glad you asked. First, keep Samantha working and hire some new blood. I am available (knowledgable in cruising, Europe, and US destinations) but there are many talented people in the travel universe that are constantly coming up with amazing content like JD Andrews and Iain Mallory. If you want, have a silly competition like Food Network Star to find the next Travel Network Star; that will get some ratings. But, most importantly, TRAVEL! Take us to Europe, Asia, Africa, South America, Australia and all the great places on our own continent. Help us to plan our vacations and to get excited about all the travel opportunities throughout our world. We don't mind if you get a bit informercially at times like you do with Walt Disney World and some of the cruise lines. Just show us the world. Sincerly, A Traveler In the podcast this week, we discussed the new design of the Carnival Breeze, and while I have to admit that it is pretty, there is a small bit of sadness that the day of the "themed" cruise ship seems to be over. There are so many themes that have been left on the drawing board (or perhaps never made it) that we'll never see like the Pop Princess with the Britney Buffet and the Lohan Lounge. Or maybe an animal theme with a zebra bar, the watering hole swimming pool... Okay, I hope you all know that I am joking, but there is one theme that I seriously would have liked/would still like to see. Broadway! I am a complete theatre nerd (you see? I even spell theatre in the nerdy, pretentious way.) BTW, I know that Royal Caribbean likes to name their dining rooms after musicals. That isn't what I am dreaming of. I want a fully immersive experience. And, Joe Farcus, if you are reading, I already have tons of ideas for this ship. Only you can pull it off! So here goes, my dream ship: The Carnival Stage (you know only Carnival would consider this)
Atrium: The atrium is themed to Times Square with flooring like a street and billboards for some of the shows represented throughout the ship. Signs for guest services and shore excursions are in neon. Faux building facades complete the look with the elevators climbing up the skyscrapers. Show Lounge: Called the Paris Opera House, themed to Phantom of the Opera with box seats and a chandelier. Karaoke/Comedy Lounge: The Kit Kat Club from Cabaret Main Dining Room: Harmonia Gardens from Hello Dolly! Kid's Clubs: Avenue Q....JOKING! There are enough Disney Broadway shows, that we can throw them in there. Wait! That's already been done on DCL... Adults Only Pool/Deck Space: Bali Hai from South Pacific Salon: Themed to Hairspray Jewelry Shop: How to Marry a Millionare Sorry Sondheim fans, but we can definitely NOT have the buffet run by Sweeney Todd. Although the art gallery can be themed to Sunday in the Park with George. The Disco/ Dance bar can be themed after Sweet Charity... I could go on. But, I want to hear your ideas! What crazy theme would you use to design your dream ship? : World Cuisine? Wine? Television shows? (That one could be fun.) Movies? Even if these "fun" ships are losing a tad of the fun in the decor, (or tacky, depending on how you look at it), I had a blast thinking of what could have been had ole Joe known me 10 years ago. ;) James and I are in the process of choosing a cruise for December, and let me tell you, it is not easy. Due to the podcast and the website, we want to have as many cruising experiences as possible, so we can't really choose a favorite line and stick with it like most people do. (Although this will really hurt our chances at any loyalty programs) There are so many considerations that my head is spinning at this point. It is difficult to decide what priority to give each consideration. But, I will do my best to break it down for you, and I would LOVE to hear any feedback from you on how you decide on a cruise.
1. Ports/Itinerary- We are, of course, really into the ports and are constantly looking for the best possible experience in every port with our personal preferences tending toward history and architecture with private/all inclusive beaches being our favorite option when a port doesn't happen to have much in the way of history or architecture. We aren't huge water sport type people, but James has an affinity for cave tubing, so I guess that is an exception. Some people go see turtles, and some are cool with stingrays swimming all around them, even though the Crocodile Hunter died from one of these "gentle" creatures (just my personal fear/thing) Not us, although I could see swimming with dolphins at some point. 2. Cruise Line- This is the one that most people usually have all figured out, but we are having trouble with. We want to try a line that we haven't experienced, so Princess, Celebrity and Holland America are all in the running. My favorite thing to do when deciding on this category is to find the daily paper of whatever line I am looking at and try to figure out how many of the activities I would want to attend. Did I not mention that we LOVE trivia? Yes, we were the first trivia nerds to ever show up for trivia on the brand new Carnival Magic when everyone else was attending the naming ceremory or whatever. So, I always look for multiple trivia opportunities each day, as well as a good mix of cooking demonstrations (so fun!) and tastings. Gameshows are always a plus for us, and scavenger hunts are like gold. Entertainment, for us, is not as important as the daily activities, but we do like to have something to see each night, with a late night option like karaoke or comedy to cap off the night. I suppose other people may choose the cruise line based on food options/reviews or maybe the cost of alternative dining, which has figured into our calculations (Celebrity, I am looking at you!). Service might fall under this category, but to be honest, I have never really had a service issue, so that isn't a concern for me. Others may choose based on how many loungers are available or how many kids or people might be on the boat. Maybe you choose based on the adults-only facilities. I will admit to leaning somewhat toward Holland American based on the private cabanas on deck that you can rent. There is something tempting about the idea of going up to your cabana and having a lounger and table waiting for you. And this leads into our next consideration... 3. The Ship- Within each line you have lots of variations, of course. Except maybe Disney, but I digress. We give ships with waterslides gold stars, and think movie theatres are super cool. Throw tons of hot tubs and some neat bars in the mix, and we are pretty happy. And we all know that there is something to be said for being on one of the newer ships of a fleet. Whether you want a killer casino or real grass, trees or a rock-climbing wall (I will never understand that one) are certainly considerations for this category. Staterooms would also fall in this category, and I must admit to being an ocean-view snob. Gotta have one. And I do like my space, so when I see staterooms over 180 sq. ft, my heart races a little. (Not really, but it does make me smile) But, that extra space and view often cost extra, which brings me to... 4. Price- Yep, the final and, perhaps, most important consideration. So why did I put it last? Because it is no fun to think about. Because I might find the perfect itinerary, line and ship and then be looking at wayyy more than I can afford. Guess it should be first then, but then I would always cruise Carnival, which would not make for a very interesting podcast/website. (Unless the site was dedicated to photos taken on the Serenity deck) But, if you stick with most of the mainstream lines and happen to be within driving distance of more than one embarkation port, you can usually get a great deal, even if the price is higher than Carnival because cruising is such a good deal in general. I prefer to use a travel agent, combined with internet searches in order to search out the best rate, plus I can sometimes get a special little deal like stateroom credit etc. Whatever we choose, I know we'll have a great time and enjoy reporting on those experiences to all of you. And, along the way, you can bet that we will be winning a trivia contest (or 2). I was reading a news story today based on a survey released by CLIA which stated that more people would be cruising in the near future, and you know what? That was no surprise to me at all. Okay, I am not reinventing the wheel or anything by saying that I knew more people would start cruising soon, but I am SHOCKED by the amount of first-time cruisers I am coming across in my everyday life. People who have sworn to me in the past that they had no interest in cruising are changing their tune and looking to book cruises soon. It seems like everywhere I turn, someone is booking a cruise. The big question is why. Let's look at my little microcosm of people who are cruising soon and try to figure it out.
Case 1- My inlaws. Older couple, normally loves long road trips across America. Favorite sites include Grand Canyon, natural beauty and ocean vistas in California. She has been averse to cruising in the past due to seasickness fears as she gets queasy watching IMAX movies. Why now? Well, road trips are taking longer due to having to constantly stop and walk around to avoid stiffness. Gas is, of course, more expensive and Sharon learned of the seasickness patch that could combat any issues with that. Add to that the natural beauty and ocean which they already enjoy and the great rates of cruising, plus a handy port and you have a couple of new cruisers. Case 2- Family of brother and sister-in-law. Late 30's, 3 teenagers. Normally love renting a beach house at Amelia Island. Relaxation is key to their vacations, as well as fun for the kids. Past aversions include fears of being on the boat (too many Titanic viewings) and price concerns compared to the beach. Why now? This summer's beach vacation saw the teenagers sitting around more, and didn't have the zing of past trips. On a cruise, everyone can be entertained with their own thing OR relax ;) But, you still come together for dinner and certain events. When you figure in that they already love the beach and the cost of gas to drive across several states to get there, a port which is only a few hours away with the promise of a complete vacation is looking pretty good. Case 3- Young couples who don't vacation much- Several people I know fit in this category. I have come across at least 3 couples recently who I have never really known to do the whole vacation thing, who now have cruises booked. Why now? Usually cost has kept them from vacationing until now. As regional cruise ports add more ships and itineraries, people are exposed to more people who have cruised, and are hearing about the great fares and destinations. This is prompting them to give it a try, thus spreading the word even further. Now, I admit, I probably wouldn't be writing this blog if I still lived in North Dakota. (While I bet they wish they were cruising, expensive plane tickets make that difficult) But, it is really great to see people I know taking advantage of these regional ports, and I hope that the cruise lines will see how much this is increasing their base. Whoa, okay. Is this really a cruizecast blog? Take a shore excursion? Aren't we opposed to that? Well, yes....and no. I was talking to my friend and travel agent today, and she reminded me of a group of people who might need shore excursions, which got me thinking about other people who might benefit from a cruise ship shore excursion. So, here goes. The people we would actually suggest take a shore excursion....
1. You are new to overseas traveling, are not adventurous and don't really like a challenge. My inlaws fall perfectly under this category. They are well traveled within the US, but have not traveled out of the country. They are retired, and don't really appreciate curveballs thrown their way. They want to know what is going to happen, and to know that everything will turn out just fine. They are taking their first cruise in February, and we are going to suggest cruise line shore excursions to make sure they have someone leading them off the boat, all the way through the day and safely back on. The stress of attempting to do any of this on their own would outweigh any price benefits. 2. You have no time to research. You are busy, and your idea of planning a trip is calling up your travel agent with dates and saying "book it". Then, you don't think much about it until the time actually comes and you relish in the idea that you can just go on your trip, and it is totally planned for you. You have no desire to wade through websites, trying to find the right deal or best restaurant or anything. You just want to go on your vacation when it comes, and enjoy yourself. You don't have the time or desire to research. In this case, you are a perfect candidate for a shore excursion. 3. You have mobility issues. If you have mobility issues, no one will take better care of you than the cruise line shore excursion. They will let you know which excursions best suit your needs, and often have options that are designed with you in mind. You can rest easy knowing that no one will be expecting you to walk long distances or climb stairs. Although some private drivers could possibly provide the same service, sometimes this sort of issue is difficult to convey in another language and to the degree that you might need. You can rest assured with the cruise line excursions. 4. You have kids, and want to cater to them. Often the cruise lines have excursions designed with kids in mind. This might include some sort of scavenger hunt or cooking demonstration, many times the types of things that really are not available to do on your own. Disney, in particular, does a great job of designing excursions with kids in mind. I saw lots of people wandering the streets of Malta with their kids and a GPS, participating in a scavenger hunt, and it looked like fun. You simple can't organize that sort of activity on your own. 5. You are going to a potentially dangerous place. Your cruise stops in Egypt or the Holy Land. Do you really think we are going to tell you to strike out on your own. Ummmm, no. Even in places like Falmouth and Cozumel, we really think you need to book something in advance, even if it is not directly through the cruise line. There are some places that it just isn't smart to get out and walk around on your own. In fact, we think you should ALWAYS have a plan of some sort. The surest way to ruin your vacation is to just get off the boat, and see what is there. But, getting back to the dangerous places... look at the US Travel Advisory page and always use your judgement. If you don't feel comfortable going it on your own, DON'T. So, that is our list. What do you think? Are there other groups you can think of that really should take a shore excursion? We'd love to hear about it. If you keep up with this blog at all, you know that a few weeks ago, we attempted to tour Atlanta on foot which ended up not so great. We saw some decent sites, and ate some decent food, but walked like crazy in the heat with hardly any crosswalks and were utterly frustrated. This weekend, we attempted another US city by public transportation, and again, had bad results.
Denver is known to be a really nice place, and we were looking forward to it, Public transportation was supposed to be good around Denver, with fancy new commuter trains that went pretty much everywhere you would want to visit, and so, in an attempt to avoid the whole parking in a big city thing, we parked outside of town and rode the train in. Once on the train, we noticed the signs advertising that some of the stops were closed for the weekend. Now, this was not highlighted on the website, which we had addressed prior to parking. Basically, all the stops between the last commuter stop and the downtown area were closed and they were shuttling people in by bus, which would have been fine had they known what they were doing or stopped at all the stops that the train normally stops at. Instead, we ended up in the one bad neighborhood of Denver (I'm assuming) on a shuttle bus with our 2 year old, being driving by a lady that continually was consulting a paper with directions on it. Apparantely, since she had no clue what she was doing or where she was going, she only was stopping at the end of the line which was well past the football stadium we had planned to visit. But, rather than try to argue with her or try to get her to bring us there, we got off that bus as fast as we could as being driven around by someone holding up a tattered piece of paper with "left, left, right" written on it was not our cup of tea. Now at Union Station, with no hope of getting to the stadium, we noticed the free bus which takes you up and down Denver's main downtown shopping area called the mall. It is almost three miles long and has a nice boulevard with cute little cafes, so the free bus seemed like a good idea. Seemed is the operative word here as on that bus I felt more uncomfortable than I ever have on any form of public transportation. That includes Naples and New York, mind you. Some creepy guy (obviously homeless) came up to us and started talking about how our daughter looked like his niece, then he started asking about James' iPhone, at which point I just prayed that James would put it away. (He was trying to figure out where in the world we were going) As more hobos joined the free bus, I just started mumbling to James that I HAD to get of that bus NOW! Safely off the bus, we saw an oasis across the street (a Chilis) and enjoyed a breather and dessert before just deciding to give it up and head back to our car (which we had to take another crowded, uncomfortable shuttle back to the train, then back to the car) We spent the rest of the afternoon driving through the mountains and enjoyed ourselves immensely. But, once again, other that New York, America doesn't work for public transportation/walking. Even in a place that is known for being nice. I completely don't understand why you would shut down major train stations in the height of the summer, traditionally known to be tourist season on the weekends, which is when many people would be attempting to do tourist stuff. Sorry, Denver. Somehow, I still prefer Naples. One of our news stories this week on the podcast was about Naples cleaning up its act in order to increase the profitability of cruise ships in the city. Currently, when people hit the port of Naples, they scatter like roaches away from this crazy, amazing city to Pompeii, Sorrento, Capri, Positano, seemingly anywhere BUT Naples proper. And with good reason. Naples is one of the dirtiest cities I have ever been to. You feel like your life is in danger everytime you cross a street. Not to mention that some guy recently died after getting mugged right outside the cruise terminal in Naples. Trash is piled on the streets; locals don't seem to care that we're there. Why should they? They don't care enough about their own city to prevent the disgusting graffiti that covers their historic monuments and piazzas.
So why do I care? Why on earth do I think cruise passengers should give this city any money whatsoever? Because underneath all that grime and gruff exterior, Naples has some of the most amazing sites, architecture, and food in the world. It is one of the oldest cities in Italy, and has some wonderfully preserved buildings and streets. Perhaps Naples just happens to have things that I particularly love. Sculpture is my favorite art form, and the Naples Archaeology Museum contains some of the best and most sculpture in the world. Then you have the Sansavero Chapel with the Veiled Christ and the fisherman caught in his net... seriously, I was almost as impressed as I was with David. Just breathtaking. I love amazing architecture, and Naples has it. From the iron beauty that is Galleria Umberto, to the Pantheon-like church in Piazza del Plescibito to the crazy looking Gesu church with spikes all over the outside, Naples is a feast for the eyes. Oh, did I say feast? Yes, I could feast on the pizza in Naples endlessly. In fact, now anytime I visit a new city, I search for that local pizzaria that claims to be in the style of Naples, just for a fraction of the memory of that pizza. I also love to see a little local culture, and with the clothes and Italian grandmas hanging out of the windows on Spaccanapoli, I just feel immersed, "Dorothy, you aren't in Kansas anymore". I love that feeling; it sounds silly, but that feeling makes me feel like I am growing as a person. I feel bad for Naples. I just want to shake them and say "Do you realize what you have here?!" With everything the city has to offer, plus all of the amazing side trips that are within less than an hour, you could spend a week in Naples and never get bored. But, because of all the aforementioned issues, people never do. Will Naples shape up, clean up and become the tourist destination it could be in my lifetime? I feel that it won't, but one thing Naples never is, is predictable. John Heald says that Naples is the Charlie Sheen of Italy, and I have to agree. It could be so good if it could just get rid of the crazy. After 11 hours in a car on Thursday, I began thinking "gee, I wish all travel was as easy and relaxing as being on a cruise ship." At first I considered that maybe I was overstating the case, but if you think about it, there is really no other form of travel that provides a completely stress-free experience. Let's look at some comparison points.
First up is space. Airplanes cram you into a small space like a sardine, with no room to even breathe unless you are in first class (which is not incrementally more expensive like on ships, but such an enormous leap in price that only the rich can really afford it.) In a car, you have more leg room, but are stuck in your seat with no hope for getting up unless you want to lose travel time. Train travel, especially certain trains, provide more space than the previous options, but again, sleepers are expensive and they still can't compare to cruise ships which provide ultimate space. You have your own room, plenty of places to walk around, sit, run, even swim. (Or float away in a hot tub :) ) Next, let's look at activities. Airplanes provide little entertainment other than some music you can plug into or maybe a movie on a long flight. My most recent flight did have individual screens for each seat with the ability to choose movies and television shows. This was a huge improvement, but is by no means an industry standard. Car rides are notoriously boring, but dvd players have certainly helped (especially with kids). Trains make it easy to talk to fellow passengers, but have few other onboard activity options. Cruise ship have ongoing entertainment with trivia, movies, shows, tastings, etc. If you are bored on a cruise ship, it is your fault because at the very least, you could be taking a nap in your large, comfortable bed. How about comparing food? I think it is fair to say that, once again, this is no contest. Airline food is notoriously and rightfully known for being bad. Trains don't have anything to write home about, and cars have whatever you brought with you. Cruise ships have neverending food and, although it has its critics, the quantity (if sometimes not the quality) is hard to beat. Of course I could go on, and I do realize that the cruise ship is an incredibly slow way to travel when compared to its counterparts, but wouldn't it be nice if all travel could be that easygoing and carefree? So, as we set out tomorrow for another long road trip, I'll be imagining myself lounging on the Lido Deck with a plate of cheese fries and the sea drifting by with maybe some great live music playing in the background. As you might know by now, we posted the new episode last night and let me tell you, it was a bear to put together. Guess I was a bit of an idiot to plan one of our biggest episodes for a week when we would be recording away from home, specifically in the middle of farmland where the only internet available is dial-up or expensive satellite. Now, we don't need internet to record or anything, but I am just giving you a picture of how isolated we were. The air conditioning in the house kept kicking on an doing this humming thing which annoyed the crap out of me during editing. Our sound quality suffered in general, and in addition, I ended up cutting almost 30 minutes. Between James' history lectures and my school teacher sounding tips, I worry that this is our dryest episode yet. But, I know that this also might be our most helpful episode yet with exactly the information I was looking for when I was planning my first trip.
So, next week we are planning a completely light-hearted episode to counterbalance the seriousness of this week with the first installment of our gameshow "Stump the Cruising Newbie". If you have a funny question to ask someone who has never cruised before, please post it in the comments. I'm thinking along the lines of "what is the lido deck?" with some mulitple choices. Put your thinking caps on and help us out! Oh, and we would particularly like feedback on the Rome episode since that was kind of the idea behind the whole website and podcast. Thanks!!! |
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May 2015
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